Why Do I Sacrifice My Hard Work?

205.4

I really haven't felt like writing in this journal. For some reason my lack of progress has been getting me down. Stagnation, immobility, status quo...
I know my lack of progress is due to me not being consistent with adhering to the WW program, I track sometimes, I eat within my points somedays, I get my water in *most* days (but not all days), I get my exercise in somedays etc...
I know if I were consistent, if I rocked the plan everyday, I would see success on the scale.
When I do rock the plan, I am very successful (1 or 2 lbs!!!) I guess I have to give myself kudos for getting back up time and time again. I continue going to the gym, I continue going to WW meetings... perhaps one day it will stick!

But why do I fail to do the plan?
I get bored, lazy, blinded by the success of going down a pound?
each time I go down a pound, I get really excited, and instead of continuing on with my good progress I fall back into the 'wow look how hard I worked and how great it feels... I need a reward!, look yummy food'
I need to replace this with:

"Do I want to sacrifice my hard work, the time I spent, the time I spent not focusing on Bridge, sacrifice my goals, my future thin/ healthy self... for this cookie? or this treat?"

I wish I could weigh in on Wednesdays. I *think* it would be good for me, There is a meeting tonight (Wednesday) at 7pm... I love my Saturday meeting leader = Wendy, but perhaps I need to go more often? 

No, honestly I think the Saturday is fine, what I need is to spend the time making home made food to bring for lunches and home made food for dinners.

Tonight I will: 

- make soup 

- fold laundry

- clean up the house

I'd better stop being so introspective, stop staring at my bellybutton and get this day started. 

Work the plan today!!! Good luck

Am I willing to give up my goals for a snack?

205.0

Am I willing to give up being thin and healthy for this treat? or
Am I willing to give up my goals and fitting into my skin for this unhealthy food item?

Future reward discounting drops off when I think about the reward first.
Helps resist the urges of immediate gratification, whatever the temptation by believing the long term goal is already mine
am I willing to give that longer term goal up for immediate gratification?

Frame the statement like this, think about the reward (being thin and healthy and meeting my goals) then think about the temptation... you are less likely to give in.

Am I willing to give up on my goals for this? NO... NO ... NO


Yes, I am still listening to the Willpower instinct, I think it helps me start my day on a positive note, puts my brain into the "I can do this" mode! Thank goodness I have an arsenal of 'self help' audio to listen to, like video blogs, podcasts, audio books etc... once The Willpower instinct is over, Im not sure what I will do :) I like this one, it resonates with me.

Yesterday was pretty good, I think I must have eaten something salty (e.g. the turkey bites), because I really think I am retaining water today. I guess I will have to flush it out by drinking more water today.

For some reason the fitbit isn't recording my sleep... I wonder what I am doing wrong???
grrrr

Friday night is my work Christmas Party, I'm kind of nervous, since I have to weigh in on Saturday morning... But I have to remember what I wrote at the top of this post
"Am I willing to give up the results I will see at the scale this week (cause I have been great at sticking to the plan, and I KNOW I will see a good number on the scale) am I willing to give that feeling of meeting my goals, for a not so healthy dinner?"
No,
My Friday night my strategy will be
- to eat some fruit before I go to the party,
- drink some sparkling water with lime (no alcohol),
- no hors d'oeuvres,

I will eat the main meal, and for a treat, I will have the desert, only if it is: creme brule, cheese cake or something chocolately.... if it is anything else do not have it.
I will also get up and move a bit... I wont commit to dancing, but I will move more!

Am I willing to give up my goals for some not so tasty hors d'oeuvres? or a not so yummy desert?
NO!!!
I can do it.

Today I commit to:

1) eating oatmeal for breakfast

2) writing down all my food intake  - even if I go over

3) drinking 2L of water

4) going to the gym - and staying for cardio after my PT session.

5) forgiving myself

6) a walk at lunch

False Hope Syndrome

204.4

This is Me!!! False Hope Syndrome.
Chapter 6 of the Willpower Instinct = "What the Hell: how feeling bad leads to giving in"

I am using "the promise of change" (the feel good rush from DECIDING to change after a set back), to make me feel better about my failures. "The decision to change is the ultimate gratification" - you get all the good feelings before anything has actually been done, before the hard work and time necessary to reach your goals.

As we face our initial setbacks the feel good feelings from deciding to change are replaced with disappointment and frustration. Failing to meet our expectations triggers guilt, depression and self doubt, and the emotional pay off from vowing to change is gone. Most people then abandon their efforts... then have a slip up... then vow to change ... starting the cycle all over again. This is called "False Hope Syndrome" a phrase coined by researchers Polivy and Herman.

My overconfidence in my abilities, including gaining control and optimism based on the belief that losing weight is easy and fast... perhaps I think this because I have done it before, that if I could do it then it must have been easy.

Losing weight is not easy, nor is it fast. Losing weight takes time, hard work and dedication.
to see real weight loss results, we are looking at

e.g. 

Time = One Year

Hard work = meal planning, meal preparation, gym workouts, cardio, behaviour modification, changing my routines, changing my habits, be aware of my actions, writing down what I eat, not being impulsive about food decisions, getting enough sleep each night, reducing stress, being mindful, going to weight watcher meetings, realizing the reward of reaching my goals, forgiving myself for slip ups, drinking my water... etc... these are all the pieces of the hard work necessary to get the job done.

Dedication = doing over and over and over again, until it sticks and I make a lifetime commitment to healthy living each and every day for the rest of my life

Solution:
1) Forgive myself, and "Move Forward" - guilt and feeling bad does not help, it actually hinders
2) Accurately assess the situation - track my food intake, track my emotional responses (via blog)
3) Set realistic goals, understand the hurdles and  difficulty of change.
4) Set myself up for success - control my environment, have treats that I can eat on hand, change my habits
5) Imagine and practice situations where I am likely to give into temptation - formulate plans to deal with these situations.

All or nothing does not work

Today I commit to:
1) writing it down - tracking all my food intake
2) getting out at lunch for a walk - 3Km
3) drinking my water - 2L
4) Oatmeal for breakfast - DONE!!!
5) Forgive myself for past mistakes - MOVE FORWARD
6) 7 hours sleep - DONE!!! (well, 6 hours and 57 minutes)

What-the-hell effect

205.0 Lbs

Yesterday I hit 10,000+ steps !!! Yay!!!

There is seriously something called the What-The-Hell effect...
There are hundreds of web entries, just Google What the Hell effect..

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/diet-is-4-letter-word/201302/restrictive-dieting-and-the-good-ole-what-the-hell-effect

I can totally believe this, I have experienced it, heck, I've even said those words "What the Hell".

Forgiveness is key.

I really think my Move Forward mantra is right for me at this moment. I have to learn to forgive myself for my inevitable slip ups, to move past my mistakes, think about them, understand why I may have slipped up and MOVE FORWARD.

Yesterday was an ok day on plan (I ate well AND I got my steps in), except the chocolate bar I ate in the parking lot of the grocery store... I don't even know why I did it. I can remember feeling like I was starving last night, even immediately after I ate my dinner. I felt a soreness in my stomach. Then later, when I was at the grocery store, I was doing pretty well... then I went down the aisle of candy, I know I should avoid it, and I was done.

I will forgive myself, and try and recognize this feeling again. 

Today will be good, I have the gym tonight.

I am feeling quite a bit of stress right now, at work, at home, because of Christmas, because of schedules, because of deadlines and because of commitments I am avoiding. I guess I should just use the time I have and complete the projects one at a time...

I will take time out today to have a walk at lunch, I think I will need it.

Cancer Sucks

Just found out that my dad has colon cancer...
I hope he will be ok, since he fought and won the battle with his non-Hodgkin lymphoma, I know he can mentally do it!!!
Why does it keep coming back?
He is a great person, and a great dad, I love him very much.

Do I really want the consequences of always putting this off?

(205.4)

This week I am going to commit to:

1. Write it down - track my food intake, even if it is over my daily points allowance. the key to change is Self awareness!
2. Drink water - drink my 2 L of water per day (minimum)
3. Oatmeal for breakfast - Monday through Friday eat oatmeal for breakfast
4. Exercise 2 times this week at lunch (minimum)
5. Exercise 2 times per week at the gym 
6. Practice forgiving myself and moving forward - use my mantra "Move Forward"
7. 7+ hours of sleep per night

Many of these things I am already a superstar at doing :) like drinking my water, exercising 2x per week at the gym, and minimum 7 hours of sleep per night... so that leaves 4 items I am really going to focus on doing. I truly believe these are the keys to winning at weight loss... writing it down, exercising a bit more and forgiving myself for slip ups, I am not perfect.

So, I've been listening to The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal, wow is this book ever life changing... and easy to listen to. Chapter 4 has been mind blowing for me. Last week I alluded to the impact that chapter 4 had on my psyche... I will dive a bit deeper here

Chapter 4: License to Sin–Why Being Good Gives Us Permission to Be Bad
I feel I need to be rewarded for my 'good behaviour' if I say no to a tim bit at my morning meeting, I feel it is ok to go out for wings at lunch. This would also make me feel like I was a good person, assigning good and bad to these behaviours and letting that dictate my feelings of self worth.
This chapter is worth listening to again.

Focus on my goals.
Pay attention.

Am I saying to myself I will make up for today's behaviour tomorrow?
Willpower experiment: "A tomorrow just like today"
Aim to reduce the variability in my behaviour, not the behaviour itself.
each day, say to myself, if I eat this bagel for breakfast, I commit to eating a bagel tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. This makes it harder to deny the health consequences of a single bagel (8 weight watcher points!!! that is 48 points if I have one 6x per week).

Instead of asking, do I want to eat this treat (e.g. granola bar) now, ask myself :

"Do I want the consequences of eating a treat everyday after work for the next year?"

on procrastinating on my goals:

"Do I really want the consequences of always putting this off?"

Whoa, as I said.... Life Changing
I often think, if I had started doing the plan, really started the plan when I joined... I would probably be at my goal weight, or even if I only started 2 months ago, I would be down 10-15 lbs!!!
So do I want to be here in the same place this time next month? do I want to be asking myself  'why cant I do it?'

Why don't I want to change? perhaps the key is in the next chapter... why we mistake wanting for happiness :)

Chapter 5:The Brain’s Big Lie–Why We Mistake Wanting for Happiness.  

Move More Eat Well Jumpstart 2014

I just signed up for a workshop called Move More Eat Well Jumpstart.
Yippee, it sounds like it's going to be FUN!
Combines 2 of my favourite past times: Memory keeping and Healthy Living.
I get to take photos of me exercising and eating :)
Should be a fun project, kinda like week in the life, but different. More about my goals and figuring out my WHY.
OK, if I have any hope of getting 6 & 1/2 hours sleep I have to go now...
Unfortunately my daily goal of getting 7 hours of sleep will not happen tonight :( gotta wake up tomorrow morning at 6am to drive Bridget to Brownie camp.

Good Night