so it has been a really loooong while...

Thursday Feb 27th 2014 (205.9)

I guess the month of February has blown by, and I have not written in my blog, nor have I paid any attention to my healthy eating, exercise, and weight loss efforts. (boooo)
Well, nothing like TODAY to get back on the band wagon :)

Tracey my personal trainer has a competition starting for the Month of March, I have to journal all my food intake, eat clean (she says paleo... but I dont think paleo is good for me) and exercise regularly to be entered into her contest... (I could win 3x personal training sessions donated by her!) pretty sweet deal considering she only has a few clients (perhaps 30-40?) so the odds are in anyone's favour to win! This is a contest that I like, where there are less than a million people entered :)

So I will begin today (Feb 27), but keep in mind I want to do this for the month of March!

What do I want to do:

1. track everything I eat
2. stay within my WW points
3. drink minimum 2L of water per day
4. sleep minimum 7 hours per day
5. get a minimum of 6000 steps per day
6. gym 3x per week or in basement gym
7. blog about it
8. oatmeal for breakfast 
9. eat 'out' only 2x per week (1x subway or pita pit & 1x at a restaurant)

#1 & #2 are my 2 biggest challenges. So if I do these 2 things and nothing else = ALL IS GOOD.
the other items on the list are the things I currently *mostly* do... I'd say about 80% of the time (e.g. I would say the sleeping thing is 98%! and the water thing is about 90%, so my overall healthy habits are where I want them to be)
Again, #1&2 are a challenge, so I really want to focus on these 2 things.

What do I need to do to prepare?
- plan some easy 'go to' dinners (e.g. 2x poached eggs + ww eng muffin + salsa and side salad or veggies or chicken breast + stirfry veggies etc...)
- plan around my schedule: gym, Bridget's activities, weekends etc...
- Plan activity on the weekends! enough of being a hermit!!!
- focus on my goals - i want to prove to myself that I can lose some weight, I have all the tools, i know what I need to do, i just need to DO IT.

One day at a time, or as Roni says "What you Can When You Can" #WYCWYC.
Just continuously make the effort to do the best that you can do!

Judgement

Wednesday Feb 5, 2014
(204.6)

Why do women judge each other so harshly?
Why do we care what others do or say?
Why is what others are doing more important than what we are doing ourselves?
I too am very guilty of this... but why?
I watch other women judge each other and catch myself thinking "why does she do it?" and then I think "why do I do it?" I need to be more concerned with changing my own judgmental behaviour than trying to change other's behaviour.
Who cares what others are doing... care what I am doing, and how I am trying not to judge.
"He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
This is really hard to do.

example:
This lady at work said to me: (paraphrased)
"Oh, you're eating aspartame? I would never eat that stuff,  no wonder you don't care about eating from plastic containers..." referring to a conversation we had a few weeks back about how 'evil' using plastic glad ware containers were for re-heating food... (why does she even care)
I felt like screaming back at her... "I'm doing what I can, this is better than eating a chocolate bar!!!"
btw, I was eating an Fat Free Activia yogurt (it does have aspartame in it).

This is a far cry from the judgy "look at her hair, or look at what she is wearing etc..."  but this subtle "you don't do things my way" and "I'm so much better than you, cause I don't do THAT".
Why do women care so much about other people's choices?
I'm trying to teach Bridget that we all have our own rules, and we all have our own likes and dislikes.... and those differences are what make people interesting

Years ago, my sister in law said something to me that made me think "wouldn't the world be such a boring place if we all thought the same thing"... she was talking about her own creationist beliefs :) (??? of which I was judging her harshly asking why she believed in that crap:) ) and she called me on my judgments! and good for her. She said this and now I constantly think about this statement whenever I feel I am being judgmental.
I really dont want to be critical of others... I know I am with myself, and I am working on that too.

So I think I will embrace a new word and mantra:

Acceptance

of myself and others. I want to be the best me that I can possibly be. To do this, I have to accept that I am not perfect and that I try hard everyday. Somedays will be easier than others, but I will persevere and work toward being the best me possible. I need to accept that I can not change others, nor do I want to. We all have our own struggles in life and the day to day grind is not easy, so why worry about others, accept that they will do what they will do. I might struggle with eating less and consuming less packaged food. Others might struggle with not feeling loved, and still others might struggle with something far worse like addiction or self hatred. In the big grand scheme of life, I have it pretty easy... I just have to keep on moving forward and accepting myself for who and what I am capable of right now!

Today I am good

Wednesday January 22nd, 2014
(204.7)

I believe today will be a great day. I'm feeling very capable and motivated. I can do this, I will do this. I just have to put in the hard work day in and day out. Persistence is KEY, the tortoise had something when he said "slow and steady wins the race". I have to believe that I keep this up, 1 lb per week, in 50 weeks I will be down 50lbs :) and that is a good thing.

I just *wish* it was a bit faster.

FitBit 5Lb Badge!!!

Friday January 17th 2014
(204.5)

I'm so happy about this, my FitBit Aria scale sent me an email today :)

I guess it really is the 'little things' that can make your day.

I had such a great day today, I think it was because of my amazing workout last night. My trainer had me doing crazy dead lifts (x12) for each round. I swear the dead lifts were harder cardio than the 500 m sprint on the rowing machine.

Speaking of which, I hate to be judgmental, but there was this very young girl (all arms and legs) on the rowing machine next to me who was spazing out, flailing her arms and legs... she really didn't look like she knew what she was doing, anyway it was very distracting. If you remember Phoebe from Friends and her 'running' this was like that but on the rowing machine.

I hope I continue to be down for my WW meeting tomorrow morning. :) I worked hard this week to stick to my plan, and only had a few rough spots. I deserve to see a good number on the scale!

I'll keep ya posted.

Update: I lost 1lb according to the WW scale!!! Yippee, I'll take that

MMEWJ - day 16

(205.3)

Thursday Jan 16, 2014 

So my workshop "Move More, Eat Well" is on day 16, and I am still going strong. There have been a few hiccups along the way and a few days I've not been super motivated, but overall I'd say 12 of those 16 days have been great. It is the weekends that aren't the easiest, as I noted in an earlier post.

The thing it is really doing for me is raising my self awareness, and without self awareness I can not change. So this workshop is good for me, and my long term goal of living a daily healthy lifestyle.

Also, It got me to get off my rear end last night and get my steps in :) My husband thought I was nuts running up and down stairs and circling the basement to get in my steps. I have 2 goals 1) is for my MMEWJ and the goal is to get a minimum of 6000 steps per day, the other 2) is my FitBit goal and it is to get a minimum of 8000 steps per day in.

Yesterday I got the 6000 in and then said, what the hell, its only 2000 more... so I did it. Yay ME!!!

although it made me 'lose' one of my daily healthy habits of getting a minimum of 7 hours sleep per night. Because I didn't get to sleep until 11:30pm, and I woke up at 6:00am.

I resolve to get better at this.

tonight I have the gym (and I will stay to do my cardio). I love my gym days, and have decided to add another gym day (Friday nights) to the schedule, because it really does make me feel good. I would love to be able to do a Yoga class on Fridays and then 35 minutes of cardio, that would be my dream... I'll have to research where I can get this mix.

 

revelation = weekends are tough

Saturday WW weigh in = 205.1
I was down again on Saturday Morning, YAY!!!!

this morning on the fitbit scale = 207.6 :( Booooo!!!
*** I blame it on the all you can eat sushi.

Now I have to spend the rest of the week trying to lose the 2.5 lbs plus any other weight I am fortunate enough to lose this week.

So what does this all mean?
There seems to be a trend emerging where on Saturday morning at my weigh ins I am down, and I proceed to 'waste' my hard work from the past week by reversing this success and by the time Monday morning rolls around I am up 2+ pounds... which we all know are 2 lbs that are very hard to lose.

Weekends seem to be my nemesis.
I wonder if I were weighing in during the week, if I would see more success?
If I didn't see Saturday as a free for all as my cheat day, and lets face it, turns into Sunday too which leaves the weekend a total waste of effort.
Instead of just a cheat meal, like I used to have on Wednesdays?

No more, I think I'm going to set this as my new healthy habit for this week.
Not to blow the weekend!
for example: Sunday big breakfasts with eggs + toast, afternoon snacks and Sunday dinners out can not be 'All you can eat'.
My weekday habits need to be followed through on the weekends.

How do I turn my lazy, food indulgent weekends into a healthy and restful experience?

the end of a bad week

another bad drive  :(
and I broke down and had a bagel for breakfast... "the drive made me do it"... no, I actually didnt know the drive would be THAT bad, but it wasnt great up to that point and it only got worse.

I think I will be up at my meeting tomorrow :( which totally sucks) I dont think I control my weight at all. I can be all kinds of perfect in my eating and I still gain weight. WTF???

This week has been the WORST week ever in terms of traffic and driving, I feel like writing it off. Honestly, who knew that the bad drive had such an huge impact on me... Im going to have to look for a new job ;( which I really dont want to, cause I love my job and I think my boss is great. Those 2 things rarely come along... but I am totally not moving. Guelph is the best city in the world to live in, and I really really hate the GTA and would hate to have to move back.

Im hoping I can get back on track tomorrow with this weight loss thing. Not that I am not doing it today, I plan on getting my 6,000 steps, my water, tracking my food etc... but I really need to hit the reset button and get on the scale at WW.