email to coach

This is the note I just sent to my coach:

Hi Coach ,

I guess my reset button got stuck :)

I may have taken this past weekend off from all thoughts of PN, even the exercise part (which I love).

Part of me was resenting the huge time and energy commitment I have made to this, and the fact that I am not seeing any results (on the scale). I was feeling “why bother” spending all this time working out and trying to juggle my schedule around to get the workouts in, and getting out at lunch and eating all this extra protein, and buying veggie supplements and protein powder, not eating treats, not going out for Friday lunches with my coworkers etc… I have been feeling like I have given up all my special indulgences like cuddling up on the couch with my daughter watching a movie and eating popcorn, or enjoying going out for lunch with my coworkers on a Friday etc… So I gave myself permission to take the weekend off from PN… although I am still suffering the guilt and after effects from eating a whole bag of popcorn… the salt (UGH!!!).

I shouldn’t say I haven’t seen any results, because I know my blood pressure has gone down, I am no longer dizzy and light headed all the time (even when sitting). My body feels stronger, my side plank ROCKS, squats are EASY!!! I can do burpees J etc… The changes to my physical abilities have seen enormous gains. Prior to PN I was working out 2x per week with a personal trainer, and 1x per week doing cardio. Now I have been going for a 2 – 3Km walk every weekday lunch hour, 3x weight trainings per week, 2x interval trainings and the 1x Active recovery and am always looking for new and fun ways to exercise and incorporate fun activity into my life and my family’s… and now even my coworkers (I have arranged a Thursday lunchtime skate at our indoor arena!!!)

The exercise component of PN has reenergized me to a point where I have not felt so HAPPY in over 8 years. (since before the birth of my child). I am completely addicted to how exercise makes me feel. I think no matter how this PN experiment goes, I will take away the need to exercise more than I was.

So I can say I have been seeing results on this PN journey.

The Habits…

These I am completely failing at. I think I was trying to deal with all the balls in the air at once and I felt overwhelmed and stopped doing any of them. (just after the protein habit) I know I should just do what the PN instructions say: Today’s lesson, Today’s Workout and Today’s Habit. But it is so hard not to get mired down in the other habits that I am not doing. I tend to have “all or nothing” thoughts. It comes from the same place as the perfectionist does.

I don’t really know how to fix it.

PN coaching is helping a bit, but I think I have been this way for so long it is a really really really hard habit to break, its almost part of my genetic code.

This carb habit is impossible. I know what I should be doing, and I even like Quinoa :) but actually doing it is proving to be way more difficult than I expected. I am so used to throwing some chicken in a wrap or having an English muffin with an egg and salsa etc… that breaking this is messing with my ‘go to’ recipes. It is now screaming of more hard work, since I have to research new recipes and find new carb sources that I like, and prepare them ahead of time

I keep wondering if this is worth it. Yes I would like to weigh less, but wowza it is ever difficult to shed even one pound.

This week, I am going to try and focus on the carb thing, and getting back into the exercise groove. (since I missed Friday and Saturday last week, and I haven’t gotten 10,000 steps in in 3 days) . I am going grocery shopping tonight, so I will have food in the house to get this thing done!!!

I really appreciate you checking in, I know I should be more self guiding and responsible, but man is it ever easy to fall of the wagon and stay off :)

NOTE: this coming weekend is Canadian thanksgiving … the good news is that it is pot luck. We are bringing a salad and doing grilled veggies on the BBQ. 

I have to stop looking so far into the future and getting overwhelmed. Planning and strategizing is good… but it can also freak me out and overwhelm me.

Id better stop obsessing over how things are going and just DO IT.

Thanks for checking in.

Fiona :)

Running from the Bear

So this, was the picture on today's Lesson

 

after I finished laughing my head off, I actually listened to the message from the lesson... it was about perfectionism...

You don't need to be "perfect". Shoot for "pretty good" instead.

When you’re running from a bear, you don't have to run the fastest. All you have to do is run a little bit faster than the slowest person.

These are the questions that I had to answer:

 

Think about what's different since you started PN Coaching.

What is one small achievement you've had so far? (Even if it's "I didn't fall down in the gym today"... hey, it counts!)

What is different?
I already feel successful
I have killed my 5 minute habit, getting outside for a short walk, every single day... even if it is only for 5 minutes (most days are longer)

this is helping me meet my 10,000 steps per day goal
I have hit over 10,000 steps per day for the past 8 days out of 10... that is amazing!
I have also consistently done the PN prescribed workout, or switched the active rest day for a weight training session or vice versa
this makes me feel like a rock star

But, a discussion on the forums really got me thinking harder and harder about this lesson... and I posted this piece about what I really 'got' from this lesson... watch out, it is DEEP

___________________________________________

I too really 'heard' this message speak to me. I am a long suffering perfectionist. I already see myself 'needing' green check marks... and I know there will come a day that I don't get my green checkmark... eeek.

I think if I really learn this lesson this year, PN coaching will have been worth it for me :) I need to learn this lesson.

years ago I was considered the 'black sheep' of my family, the child who 'might' not graduate from high school, let alone university... I heard that lesson loud and clear for the first 22 years of my life. In my parent's defense, I really didn't DO anything to help myself during that time :) I was a slacker who barely scrapped by and never applied myself and never made the best choices.

But something happened around 22 years of age that changed my mind... I took a course at university that I actually LIKED, and I did my assignments and went to class... and low and behold I got an A in the class... thus began the next 20 years of me trying to 'Prove' to myself and to my family that I was smart, I was hardworking and I was capable.
I know that my parents are proud of me and most people I meet today would never suspect, or probably even believe that I was less than awesome at everything I do (now)... I think deep inside I will never meet this standard of a person I hold myself to being now (aka super woman with a PHD in every subject).

I think my need to be perfect stems from not wanting to be a failure, and that if I don't do it all PERFECTLY... I will disappoint myself, thus never actually doing it, to avoid failure.

I need to put this on my top 3 list of things to address this year :)
I may have to go back and revise yesterday's lesson and change my goal from a specific weight loss goal (reach 145lbs) to making progress toward my weight loss goal. Maybe I have to force myself not to get 100% green check marks, so I force myself to accept less than perfect ;) (wow)

I have to accept that my journey to 145 lbs might take 2 years or 3 years. The point is... that I am working toward the goal, making daily progress.

pretty profound stuff... and we are only in week 2... I cant wait to see what epiphanies I have over the course of the next few months