Resilience

This is a great discussion, thank you for the honesty and creative solutions. I might have to give some of them a try.
(@ Clare, I love Mariane Keys too!)

I had something happen to me about 8 years ago that I needed to 'bounce' back from, I am still working through it but find that I am less and less negatively affected by it.
background: When I returned to work after a long (1 year) maternity leave. In Canada we can take up to 12 months after the birth of a child, and can still expect our job to be waiting... or so I interpreted. Upon my return from Maternity leave, I found that the person I hired to temporarily replace me was now my boss. I was infuriated, I felt betrayed, I felt it was illegal (very grey area), I was so angry.
I spent years seeing a psychiatrist once per week, on a variety of antidepressants (celexa for 5+ years) and went through a variety of 'coaches' in various areas of my life. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me. I was struggling at being a new mom and feeling like a failure at my career.
I remember feeling 'stuck', I was terrified of moving, of change. Part of it was because I felt like a failure (if my company that I had given 12 years too didn't want me or need me, well then who else would), and the other part was I was severely depressed. I kept saying "I can't change or I won't change",  the best thing for me would have been to change jobs to get out of the toxic (for me) situation, but I was completely paralyzed by the idea of it. I don't know how I did it, but I was able to change companies and jobs. And this was the beginning of my resilience training. Action. If you don't like where you are, then move. I have been trying to practice this for the past 8 years, with some success.

Fast forward 8+ years, and thank goodness for time's ability to provide perspective. I can honestly say the anger that I held inside me for the perceived injustice that I felt was perpetrated against me, is *almost* gone. I wasted years of my life feeling like I was betrayed, and now I know that perhaps I was betrayed... but I was betrayed by a company, that was just doing what companies do... make money.
not a person, but a 'thing', a company.
it is hard to be angry at a thing, because in all reality the only person my anger was hurting was myself.
I like to think that my journey over the past 8+ years has not been wasted. I have learned a lot about myself and about how to adapt to change. Embrace it! change will happen even if you don't want it to.
Now I am trying to reverse some of the damage my anger and negative self image inflicted upon me. (weight gain and isolation)
Resilience is hard, but the good news is we get better at it each time we 'fall down', it is just practice.

It is so important that we each find the 'magic' potion that will get us moving again, moving past what ever it is that is bothering us. Unfortunately it is different for everyone, and may be different for you at different times along your journey. But I really think that what we are learning here at PN, by doing all these exercises is a massive database on ME... or as PN likes to call it "the Owners Manual".
I identified my Achilles heel way back on July 22 (day 2 of coaching) and I still struggle to overcome it every single day.
I have made my magic potion, my new 'mantra', my new focus for 2015
it is the word: ACT

short but powerful word

It also happens to be the very first lesson we learned about the power of the 5 minute action. I am building my resiliency and grit by learning to act even when I don't feel like it. To put my work out clothes on and my runners on, even when I don't feel like it. To commit to doing 5 minutes of exercise. To ignore the 'overwhelming' feeling that I have fallen off the wagon, and simply logon to PN coaching and just doing the habit and work out they tell me to do today. To ignore all the other habits and just ACT on the one thing I am supposed to do today. If I have fallen wayyy off course, just to pick one thing and ACT on it, like eat slowly or get out for a walk outside in the fresh air.
I am learning how to ACT, and how the idea of a 5 minute action can be my secret potion, my magnetic north, my recalculation... my resilience puzzle. It might not settle anything in my 'head' (e.g. anger or resentment) but it tends to push out negativity by replacing it with something that I am doing for myself, and by acting I find I can not 'think' too much because I am too busy doing or acting.

Here's to not being in the same place July 21, 2015!!!

One Little Word 2015: ACT

Reason why

Why I chose my word for One Little Word workshop 2015

At first I chose the word Progress, because I wanted to celebrate progress, to be happy with any tiny improvement that I make.

I suffer from perfectionism, therefore must focus on Progress not Perfection. I am so tired of ‘trying’ and not seeing any successes on the scale.

The word progress is important to me because I need to focus on the journey, the continuum of my life, the daily success of getting through another day.

I need to acknowledge my progress as a step in the right direction and celebrate moving forward toward my goals.

I believe that progress begets progress. If I see a bit of success, then it will create the momentum I need to gain more success.

I want to see and build upon success. 

I mulled using this word as my anchor for this year, and ended up seeing the weakness of this word (for me).

I needed a word that would propel me forward, that would light a fire under my rear end and motivate me to do something about it instead of just wishing for it to happen

This is why I chose the word ACT, or rather, why it chose me.

ACTION will get me the Progress my heart desires.

In 2015 I need to ACT upon my goals, I need to move forward.

Each and everyday, I need to strive for consistency in my behaviours.

I need to act instead of wish or talk or write down

Actions speak louder than words.

I think to myself so much “why can’t I do it?” what am I doing wrong?

The answer is easy: I’m not DOING IT

I need to walk the walk

I want to have the integrity that will end in progress and success.

If I Do the things I say I am going to do then I will reap the rewards.

If I ACT I will see progress

I need to show up every day and just do it.

I know what I have to do, I just need to consistently go through the motions.

Act is the process of doing.

No excuses, I just need to ACT daily.

Be a little bit better than yesterday

This is why the word ACT chose me.

Re Focus on my key habits

I find myself falling backward on the scale,
I feel it is because I am slipping in the slow eating and 80% full habits.
I have always eaten fairly healthy foods, with lots of veggies and protein.
This is not why I am overweight :)

I think I am going to skip trying to do the PN prescribed habits (veggies and protein etc...) and stick to practicing:

- Sticking to my work out schedule as prescribed by PN coaching: I am having great success *almost* always fitting in my Workouts, Intervals and Active Recovery. In addition, I am trying to find new ways to get more exercise and movement into my life (e.g. yoga classes, bike rides with family on weekend, fishing trips, fall hikes, geocaching etc...)

- 5 minute habit (I LOVE THIS habit) I have chosen to walk during my lunch hour, or on weekends this translates to getting outside and doing 'something' outside. During the week I usually go for either a short 2K walk or a longer 3.5K walk, depending on how I feel, my time restrictions and the weather. I really want to continue this practice through the fall and winter, cause it makes me feel FANTASTIC. and I get to hit my daily 10,000 step goal almost every day.

- Eat Slowly: I was seeing so much success with this one. I felt great, satiated and saw amazing progress when I was focusing on this. I was less bloated, my blood pressure dropped, I had less heartburn, less dizziness and lightheadedness etc... I know this is one that I need to MASTER.

- 80% full: This habit came while I was on vacation, and never really felt that I was able to really practice this one properly. I know this combined with the slow eating are my keys to changing my lifestyle and making me more mindful of what and how I eat.

So, I am going to focus on the above habits, and 'check' off on my daily habit if I feel I have practiced these habits that day.

For some reason, I need validation to do this, my inner 'perfectionist' needs permission to not follow the rules :) I am working on trying to DO IT, vs. fail at trying to do all of the habits, cause I feel I have too many balls in the air. As the habits are increasing, I am finding myself slipping on the ones I saw huge success at. I honestly think that if I can master these key habits I will have long term success and weight loss.

I am also really working at living the truth that is: "I am the type of person who makes good food decisions and does not miss my workouts". (this was said in an earlier lesson somewhere, and it 'spoke' to me)

I know that this program is more about what I am DOING vs. the knowledge that is being provided. So I am deciding to DO my workouts, my 5 minute habit, Eat Slowly and to only 80% full. I will continue to read and complete my lessons, and hopefully incorporate these into my routines and repertoire.

I am doing this.

Outcomes vs. Behaviours

what you do right now — and in the near future — contributes to the outcome you seek.
Ask myself how confident am I that I can do what I am asking myself to do?
Can I see myself doing this next week, next month, next year?
Growth zone - is area just outside of comfort zone... make sure what I am asking myself to do is achievable and that I will actually do it.


Today's exercise was to draw 4 circles, and write what I will DO to get to the outcome 

My outcome = To be successful at PN coaching, to be at or working towards 145 Lbs

This month I will = Practice the PN Habits and WO as prescribed, consistently. I will keep "showing up" and doing the habits and lessons, even if I fall off the wagon for a day or two.
This week I will = Eat slowly, walk outside at lunch, get my WOs in on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.
Today I will = Eat Slowly, Walk outside at Lunch, Do my PN measurements (from Saturday), Do workout #2 (x2) at 7:30pm. If I have time i will also do the Raisin Experiment?


from the PN site:

"notice that:

• behavior goals are things you do consistently and regularly;

• behavior goals are small, manageable tasks that are within your control; and

• behavior goals are often things that you can do right now, today or in the near future. (5 Minute Action anyone?)

Again: You can’t control the outcome.
But you can control the behaviors that, when done consistently, will move you in the right direction."

Slow down

This week started a new habit, the habit of "Eat Slowly".

The main idea is to slow down your eating, and be present and aware of your eating and how the food tastes and how your body feels.

This is HARD.
 From the PN Site:


1. Eating slowly is one of the two most important habits in this entire program.
2. No matter what else comes at you in PN Coaching, you can always go back to simply eating slowly.
3. Eating slowly and mindfully is more important than:

• what you eat
• when you eat
• where you eat
• who you eat with
• getting anything else "perfect"

To lose weight, try an Opposite Day: Eat slowly and deliberately without distractions.

OK, lets Git 'er dun!!!
Note: I did it yesterday, and yes it was hard, but I can do this... I just have to remember to do it ;)

I have put post it notes all over my cubicle. Now I have to do the same at home :)

Summary of information that is super relevant to me (so far):

• Progress, not perfection: you don't have to be perfect, just try and do better than yesterday.
• Taking a small action today, and every day, consistently, will add up to big results.
• If you fall into the hole, get out immediately
• ACTION is more important than information
• My "Why": To be Successful
• Make slow eating your "anchor" 

Destination Postcard

July 25, 2014 (208.6lbs)
210/208/145 (heaviest recent/current/goal)

Wow, has it seriously been since March, since I touched base... I am a bad little blogger...
it doesn't matter to anyone but me... but honestly, I love looking back at where my head space has been. Very interesting that I have been 'spinning' my wheels (so to speak) for the past 4 years, since I started this blog. Not exactly though, I am happier than I have ever been, so that is something that is pretty awesome to experience :) (and medication free!) I keep saying I don't want to be stuck in the same place (weight wise) this time next year... and low and behold next year rolls around and I am in the same place... well, almost.
My 42nd Birthday is fast approaching, in less than 1 month, and I am in the same place, well... not really, I have made a big commitment and started "Precision Nutrition's LE coaching program".
I started on Monday July 21st and already feel motivated and different than I have in the past.
I am very excited, because I think THIS IS IT. This is the program that will teach me how to ACT how to go after my goals and achieve them!!! if nothing else, this is new and fresh and fun ... which is always a plus for me.

When it comes to change:
=> ACTION is more important than information
=> DOING is more important than knowing

This is what I need to MOVE FORWARD toward my goals. I believe PN coaching will give me this daily push to ACT and DO and be successful.

I am going to try and use this blog to keep track of my headspace assignments.
Each day (or a couple of times a week?) Im not sure of the frequency... the coach (Veronica) gives us an assignment to dig deep into our Why or other psyche type things.
I have done a hell of a lot of work on this over the past few days, luckily I had done most of this work prior to this week (over the last 5 years), figuring out my WHY and my motivation.

I believe I am truly ready to DO THIS!!! SUCCESS

perhaps this will be my new Mantra - SUCCESS

Today's assignment is called "Destination Postcard", I have to figure out where I could be a year from now... what will July 25, 2015 look like?
pretty fun right!!! they also recommend making a vision board, writing myself a letter or putting a pinterest board together etc... I might do one of these.

But first, I want to write it down here.

A year from now, July 25th 2015,
I want to be:
- lighter
- 145lbs
- free from heartburn
- wearing a size 8-10 pant
- blood pressure in the normal range (120/80)
- wearing my wedding bands
- physically in shape - muscle definition and not 'winded walking up 3 flights of stairs)
- living my best life
- a good role model for healthy living to my daughter
- regularly intimate with my husband
- DOING IT - acting instead of wishing and planning/preparing- SUCCESSFUL

I want to do:
- 10x burpees 'easily'

- 1x unassisted pull up
- bend easily
- Adventure race 2015 (?)
- CN Tower stair climb 2015 (?)
- wear a 2x piece swim suit with confidence

I want to feel:
- SUCCESSFUL - at accomplishing my goals by reaching 145 lbs
after which, I will figure out a new goal... e.g. maintain that weight (within 5lbs) for 1 year... repeat...

- Overall, I want to 'Feel' in better health than I am right now - stronger, better stamina

Go and DO IT