that was FANTASTIC

I just went for a walk on my lunch, wow I feel freaking FANTASTIC.
It is rather brisk outside, hovering around  zero with a pretty fierce wind.
But I was trucking, I walked 3Kms (out to the woods and back)
it took me approximately 40 mins, from when I left my desk to returning. Not bad.

My move more (aka what you can when you can) experiment is working.
Tomorrow at lunch I am joining a group from work to go skating over at the community centre. How cool is that???
little by little this will make a huge difference in helping me work towards my goals, make me feel more energized and help make me ache less!!! Yippeeeee

Mind games

I can have it, but I don't want it.

This is my new mantra.

I can have the treat, but I don't want it.
I can have the chips, but I don't want it.
I can have the doughnut, but I don't want it.
I can have the cake, but I don't want it.
I can have the chocolate, but I don't want it.
I can have the ice cream, but I don't want it.


Similar to my old mantra from 2005, when I was successful at losing 50+ lbs...
which was:
"I choose to eat healthy, I choose not to have the chocolate, chips etc..."

it is always a choice.
What do you want more?
immediate gratification and a chocolate?
or
long term accomplishment, the feeling of success, and feeling comfortable in my own skin again.

Guilt is a very powerful emotion

According to Wikipedia:

Guilt (emotion) is an emotion that occurs when a person believes that they have violated a moral standard that they themselves believe in.


Whoa,  crazy introspection...
I suffer from almost continuous guilt.
guilt over speeding or driving too aggressively,
guilt over not being 100% productive at work,
guilt over not being there for the small things in my daughter's life (like volunteering in her class),
guilt over not spending all my free time with Bridget,
guilt over going to the gym and not reading her bedtime stories,
guilt over not reading her bedtime stories when I am there, but too tired to read to her,
guilt over not being the perfect role model for my daughter,
guilt over being narcissistic and self centered in my teens and 20's,

guilt over things I said to people 15-20 years ago,

guilt over bothering people (e.g. this lady got mad at me at my WW meeting for talking after the meeting with another member, I felt awful all weekend),

guilt over spending money on frivolous items (e.g. buying a new song from iTunes or new workout shirts that I don't need),

guilt over being wasteful,

guilt over throwing out veggies that have gone bad in my fridge,

guilt over not eating a perfectly clean diet,

guilt over eating packaged food,

guilt over drinking diet cola,
guilt over eating a cookie or 'treat',
guilt over eating Activia yogurt, when I should be eating Greek yogurt with no sugars etc...

guilt over not being "perfect"

I know in the back of my head no one is perfect, but I feel like I should be for some reason... that it is  OK for others not to be perfect, but I should be perfect, that for some reason I should know better ...

Why is this?
Why can't I be happy that I have made an improvement over yesterday?
Why am I more forgiving with others than I am with myself?
Why can't I be more gentle on my soul?

Why do I think I am such a bad person for not being perfect?
Why do I beat myself up every night for things I said to people when I was at University??? (note I graduated in 1995) - I had a nightmare last night about this.

no one cares except me, why do I care so much that I am not perfect?

so far so good

I weighed myself this morning, and I am not going to record it, since it really has no reflection on what I am going to do today!!!

Today I am going to ROCK the program, do the plan!!!

so far so good... it is noon, and I have
1. had some water
2. eaten a healthy breakfast
3. tracked all my food
4. planned my dinner
5. am currently eating a healthy homemade soup (chicken thai soup)
6. I'm going to the gym tonight and I will stay to do cardio
What more can a girl ask for? this is what it feels like to stay on program, to do the plan successfully.

I have to keep in mind that this is not that hard.
eat it? = write it down
stay mostly within my points
if I go over, look for ways to increase my exercise.

keep up the good work.
I know daytime is easy for you... it is the time frame of 5:30-7pm that is difficult.
what can I do to make this easier to get through?
plan a healthy and tasty snack for when I get home

tonight I will have an apple when I get home, and hope that solves my problem.
perhaps I can buy some WW 2pt bars, and have my treat when I get home.
It might work... need to investigate further

You can do it, I know you can!!!

CATS

Livingstone just had the most wonderful playful kitten moment. I love it when he reverts to kitten mode (he is 9 years old), and on occasion will toss a toy around just like the 2 wee ones. It makes my heart fill with joy, since I worry about losing him too (his brother Stanley died in August 2011). 9 isn't old, but if it could happen to my Stanley it could just as easily happen to Livingstone. I think I have to worry more about Banzai (he is extremely overweight) or Minion, she is so curious that she regularly gets herself into dangerous situations (like when she was attached to the laundry basket for hours and I had to cut the bag off her and carefully cut the tangled hair from the straps... very stressful for all of us)

here are some photos from today:

Livingstone

Minion

Banzai

Three cats 'playing' not so nicely together

food photography ROCKS

I can tell you that photographing your food makes it that much more delicious.
I just made a snack... look how yummy it looks, and it seriously tastes yummy too.
FYI this is a Honey Crisp apple, totally worth the extra cost (@2.99 a lb, they are very expen$$ive)

wasted weekend

This past weekend was not the weekend I had hoped.
Luckily I can hit the reset button any time I like, and I chose to do it today, right now.

RESET

I want to share an amazing soup I made yesterday, I make it often, but each time is slightly different, since I also call it clean out the fridge soup, ... it is always tasty.
This batch is particularly tasty, I will share the recipe.

I call it Sopa de Lima (aka Yucatan Lime Soup)
servings = 8-10 (approximately 2 cups per serving)

Ingredients:
Spanish Onion
Olive Oil - 1 Tsp
3x cartons of low salt chicken stock
1 bag of broccoli slaw (or carrot slaw)
2x medium sized zucchini - chopped into small bits
1/2 cauliflower - chopped into small bits in the manual food processor
1x red pepper - chopped into small bits
2x cans of fire roasted tomatoes (these make the soup really tasty)
1 x can of corn

grocery store BBQ chicken - 2 breasts & 1 leg - torn into small bits

cilantro - approx 1/2 a bunch - chopped into small bits
2 x large limes - squeezed



Directions:
start with Olive Oil in the bottom of the stock pot,
heat setting = high
chop up onions and brown in pot
pour in 3x boxes of low salt chicken stock
put all veggies into stock
put chicken into stock
put cilantro and limes into stock (put in up to 3 limes)

bring to a boil, then reduce heat to simmer.
approximately 20 minutes until veggies are tender (e.g. specifically the cauliflower and broccoli)

Freeze or enjoy!