204.8
not the greatest showing... but I will refocus today.
I have to get back on the horse so to speak.
It seems like I am always doing this (getting back up) , I find it difficult to commit to weight loss.
I don't know why I can't do it...
it should be easy:
1. eat within my points
2. write down everything I eat
3. move more
Why is this so difficult? is it because I sit all day? could be...
I am very tired today... I didn't get to sleep until after 11pm last night, and I woke up at 6, so I got less than my required minimum 7 hours of sleep.
But, I dropped Bridget off at school today, wow is she ever cute. I love cuddling her and showering her with adoration :) I can't get enough of that little girl. I am her #1 biggest fan!!! she not only is super cute, but she is loving, caring, fun, sweet, smart and talented.
This morning she was obsessed with the new hand sanitizer that I gave her (I think it was warm brown sugar scent). It seems that all the little girls in her class carry hand sanitizer and sniff it because it smells like cookies, cupcakes, chocolate or sugar etc...
I remember being that age and obsessed with scratch and sniff stickers :)
It is Thursday today, I know I will get one part of the equation done today... I have the gym tonight and will work out with Tracey for 1 hour then stay and do my cardio!
see you tomorrow
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
Live with purpose
203.6
Phew, thank goodness the upward trend has been reversed.
But... yesterday was a complete cluster @#$% when it comes to my healthy eating. I threw in the towel big time. Thankfully each day presents its self as a clean slate, and today I am grateful for that.
Today is a new day for me to start fresh. And I will, I am.
If I can make it through the next few days, I can reset my course come Tuesday. I will do my best not to blow each day, each meal between now and then, but I refuse to beat myself up for it. It isnt worth the guilt. One or two bad meals and bad decisions will not ruin me for life.
I have to just accept that I will not be perfect and move on, that is a hard thing for me.
Not being perfect makes me feel like a bad person.
Deep down I know that I should not strive to be perfect, also, I know it is an impossible goal to achieve. (also, what does 'perfect' mean anyway?)
but for some reason in my head, I feel that I should be able to be perfect... (at least my idea of perfect: Eat Clean, Eat within my points, Track all my food intake, Drink my water, sleep 7-8 hours per night, go to the gym 3 times per week, etc...)
but when real life hits, I make excuses for why I dont write down my food, I forget to drink my water... my habits and lifestyle get in the way of what I want to do.
I have to start being more mindful of my habits and actions. then when I am faced with a decision, I will make the 'right' one based on my goals and on my habits.
I just have to slow down and be mindful, live with purpose.
Phew, thank goodness the upward trend has been reversed.
But... yesterday was a complete cluster @#$% when it comes to my healthy eating. I threw in the towel big time. Thankfully each day presents its self as a clean slate, and today I am grateful for that.
Today is a new day for me to start fresh. And I will, I am.
If I can make it through the next few days, I can reset my course come Tuesday. I will do my best not to blow each day, each meal between now and then, but I refuse to beat myself up for it. It isnt worth the guilt. One or two bad meals and bad decisions will not ruin me for life.
I have to just accept that I will not be perfect and move on, that is a hard thing for me.
Not being perfect makes me feel like a bad person.
Deep down I know that I should not strive to be perfect, also, I know it is an impossible goal to achieve. (also, what does 'perfect' mean anyway?)
but for some reason in my head, I feel that I should be able to be perfect... (at least my idea of perfect: Eat Clean, Eat within my points, Track all my food intake, Drink my water, sleep 7-8 hours per night, go to the gym 3 times per week, etc...)
but when real life hits, I make excuses for why I dont write down my food, I forget to drink my water... my habits and lifestyle get in the way of what I want to do.
I have to start being more mindful of my habits and actions. then when I am faced with a decision, I will make the 'right' one based on my goals and on my habits.
I just have to slow down and be mindful, live with purpose.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
It's only 2 meals out of 15
205.4
what's up with the gaining???
I guess I have to buckle down and DO THIS
I am worried since the long weekend is almost here and I will be eating lots of Thanksgiving yumminess.
I am tempted just to forget about everything until Tuesday...
since today I have a party at work, and Sunday is Thanksgiving...
I must remember that 2 days is not a week, and that even if I dont track on these 2 days (for 2 meals) it is ONLY 2 meals, it is not 15.
So, the plan is not to worry about my 2 parties (Shower at work & thanksgiving) but be cautious for the other 13 meals that I will eat between now and Tuesday.
Good Plan, a livable plan, that is what is most important.
ps. last night I went to bed at 9pm and was asleep before 9:30!!! sweet!!! That was 8 & 1/2 hours of sleep. I wish I could do that everyday... who has time to do that??? going forward, if I am able to be asleep by 10:30pm that will mean 7 & 1/2 hours of sleep per night that is PERFECT!
Operation get to sleep by 10:30pm begins!
what's up with the gaining???
I guess I have to buckle down and DO THIS
I am worried since the long weekend is almost here and I will be eating lots of Thanksgiving yumminess.
I am tempted just to forget about everything until Tuesday...
since today I have a party at work, and Sunday is Thanksgiving...
I must remember that 2 days is not a week, and that even if I dont track on these 2 days (for 2 meals) it is ONLY 2 meals, it is not 15.
So, the plan is not to worry about my 2 parties (Shower at work & thanksgiving) but be cautious for the other 13 meals that I will eat between now and Tuesday.
Good Plan, a livable plan, that is what is most important.
ps. last night I went to bed at 9pm and was asleep before 9:30!!! sweet!!! That was 8 & 1/2 hours of sleep. I wish I could do that everyday... who has time to do that??? going forward, if I am able to be asleep by 10:30pm that will mean 7 & 1/2 hours of sleep per night that is PERFECT!
Operation get to sleep by 10:30pm begins!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
things I will work on: sleep, evening tracking and no nighttime snacking
205.2
I think I am noticing some interesting negative trends in my behaviour.
These trends need to be worked on.
things I will work on:
- tracking my food intake in the evening
- not getting enough sleep
- nighttime eating (after dinner)
that is a lot to work on, so I wont bog myself with extra responsibilities.
today I will try and write down all my food intake after I go home
I will also turn the lights out at 10:30pm tonight.
I will not eat any snacks after my dinner.
that is all.
I think I am noticing some interesting negative trends in my behaviour.
These trends need to be worked on.
things I will work on:
- tracking my food intake in the evening
- not getting enough sleep
- nighttime eating (after dinner)
that is a lot to work on, so I wont bog myself with extra responsibilities.
today I will try and write down all my food intake after I go home
I will also turn the lights out at 10:30pm tonight.
I will not eat any snacks after my dinner.
that is all.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Willpower
205lbs
I started listening to an audio book about willpower, called The Willpower Instinct .
You are supposed to treat the reading/listening similarly to taking a course, listen to a chapter, go away and 'practice' the proposed methods, then come back and tackle the next one.
I found a companion document on line here.
The first chapter or week one is about: I will, I won't, I want: What Willpower is, and why it matters.
My takeaways:
I suffer from poor impulse control... I want to reward myself for every good behaviour... mostly with food, but sometimes with shopping ... most often with something that sabotages my long term goals (save money, be fit, lose weight).
short term reward self (impulsive self) vs. true achievement (impulse control self)
There are several experiments / exercises that I am supposed to do this week to become more self aware and through self awareness, I will be more able to exercise willpower.
Experiment 1: track willpower choices
Track willpower choices - make a note of decisions that help of undermine goals. Track your will power choices for a day.
e.g. this morning, going through Tim Horton's drive through, I was eating a banana as I ordered my coffee, this made it easier to resist ordering a bagel. My willpower was tested, but I resisted by having something else to eat. My willpower was tested, because I was hungry, and I have been in the habit of eating a bagel at TH, also it was a grey and dreary day... this would normally prompt me to want to reward myself for even getting out of bed and facing the day :)
My willpower was tested again, when my coworkers asked if I wanted to join them on a trip down to the specialty coffee machine... I resisted, because I already had a cup of herbal tea.
... continue to track willpower choices
What I learned from this:
By knowing how I will react to situations ahead of time, I can better control our behaviour...
so, tracking my willpower choices and making notes on how I make decisions will make me more aware of how something will get me to my goal or not get me to my goal.
Experiment 2: Meditate
through meditation I can improve my ability to control willpower. By learning how to refocus my thinking, it can be applied to willpower
How to: "Breath Focus"
1. sit still and stay put - plant feet on ground, don't fidget, don't scratch, don't move
2. turn attention to your breath - close your eyes or focus on a single spot. Begin to notice your breath, silently in your mind say "inhale" as you breath in, and "exhale" as you breath out. When your mind wanders bring it calmly back to the breath. again and again as necessary.
3. notice how it feels to breath, notice how the mind wanders. Focus on the sensation of breathing, the feeling, the rhythm, always bringing your mind back to the breath
if you need help, refocus on inhale / exhale
4. start with 5 minutes once per day. A short practice everyday is better than a long practice every once in a while.
When you are bad at meditation and your mind wanders a lot... the skills learned by practicing refocusing, you are practicing willpower.
You notice you are off goal, and then you redirect.
Practice getting back to the breath, the struggle is what will improve willpower.
Willpower is a battle between our two selves.
To win the battle, you need self awareness and self control.
Translate to WW principles
Self awareness = tracking food and exercise (being aware of my short term reward self)
Self control = being mindful and of goals, habits and spaces, (taking control of this will lead to long term / true achievement)
Whoa!!! I think this book will be an excellent resource, I just have to put it into practice.
Just Do It!
I started listening to an audio book about willpower, called The Willpower Instinct .
You are supposed to treat the reading/listening similarly to taking a course, listen to a chapter, go away and 'practice' the proposed methods, then come back and tackle the next one.
I found a companion document on line here.
The first chapter or week one is about: I will, I won't, I want: What Willpower is, and why it matters.
My takeaways:
I suffer from poor impulse control... I want to reward myself for every good behaviour... mostly with food, but sometimes with shopping ... most often with something that sabotages my long term goals (save money, be fit, lose weight).
short term reward self (impulsive self) vs. true achievement (impulse control self)
There are several experiments / exercises that I am supposed to do this week to become more self aware and through self awareness, I will be more able to exercise willpower.
Experiment 1: track willpower choices
Track willpower choices - make a note of decisions that help of undermine goals. Track your will power choices for a day.
e.g. this morning, going through Tim Horton's drive through, I was eating a banana as I ordered my coffee, this made it easier to resist ordering a bagel. My willpower was tested, but I resisted by having something else to eat. My willpower was tested, because I was hungry, and I have been in the habit of eating a bagel at TH, also it was a grey and dreary day... this would normally prompt me to want to reward myself for even getting out of bed and facing the day :)
My willpower was tested again, when my coworkers asked if I wanted to join them on a trip down to the specialty coffee machine... I resisted, because I already had a cup of herbal tea.
... continue to track willpower choices
What I learned from this:
By knowing how I will react to situations ahead of time, I can better control our behaviour...
so, tracking my willpower choices and making notes on how I make decisions will make me more aware of how something will get me to my goal or not get me to my goal.
Experiment 2: Meditate
through meditation I can improve my ability to control willpower. By learning how to refocus my thinking, it can be applied to willpower
How to: "Breath Focus"
1. sit still and stay put - plant feet on ground, don't fidget, don't scratch, don't move
2. turn attention to your breath - close your eyes or focus on a single spot. Begin to notice your breath, silently in your mind say "inhale" as you breath in, and "exhale" as you breath out. When your mind wanders bring it calmly back to the breath. again and again as necessary.
3. notice how it feels to breath, notice how the mind wanders. Focus on the sensation of breathing, the feeling, the rhythm, always bringing your mind back to the breath
if you need help, refocus on inhale / exhale
4. start with 5 minutes once per day. A short practice everyday is better than a long practice every once in a while.
When you are bad at meditation and your mind wanders a lot... the skills learned by practicing refocusing, you are practicing willpower.
You notice you are off goal, and then you redirect.
Practice getting back to the breath, the struggle is what will improve willpower.
Willpower is a battle between our two selves.
To win the battle, you need self awareness and self control.
Translate to WW principles
Self awareness = tracking food and exercise (being aware of my short term reward self)
Self control = being mindful and of goals, habits and spaces, (taking control of this will lead to long term / true achievement)
Whoa!!! I think this book will be an excellent resource, I just have to put it into practice.
Just Do It!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
I've *almost* fallen off the horse... but I'm holding on for dear life
203 lbs
ok, so I haven't completely blown it, I would say I have held on ok ...
but I could do so much better, and that is why I disappoint myself.
Why am I making this take so long? why do I sabotage my progress?
honestly it doesn't make me happy and it doesn't get me closer to my goal.
last Saturday morning I stepped on the scale first thing in the morning and I saw 201 !!! and when I went to my meeting I was down 2.3lbs!!! Wow what an accomplishment!!!
Why didn't I continue the journey?
Why did I have to blow it and start eating those yummy girl guide chocolate mint cookies... yummmmmm
It stops today. I get back on track and perhaps can salvage this week.
because the things I have done well are:
- Saturday - ate pretty well all morning, and day and had a mango chicken salad for dinner... (but we also went to the Movies and I split a popcorn with Ben, even though I was full)
- Sunday - was a horrible blur, I had an allergy attack from hell... that lasted all day and I watched Netflix pretty much all day (Misfits season 1 & 2)
- I ate pretty well, I went to the gym on Monday - 60 minutes with Tracey (PT) and 30 minutes of Cardio!!!
- I ate pretty well, I went to the gym on Tuesday - 30 minutes with Tracey (PT) and 30 minutes of Cardio!!!
Why even when I am listing the things I have done well, do I do the opposite? and start nitpicking on the negative things I do.
Why can I not be happy and proud of the things that I did do!!!
Yay Me!!!
oh well, enough with the introspective stuff... It really doesn't get me very far
Today I am going to correct my behaviour and follow plan!!!
I can do this.
now where is my water :)
ok, so I haven't completely blown it, I would say I have held on ok ...
but I could do so much better, and that is why I disappoint myself.
Why am I making this take so long? why do I sabotage my progress?
honestly it doesn't make me happy and it doesn't get me closer to my goal.
last Saturday morning I stepped on the scale first thing in the morning and I saw 201 !!! and when I went to my meeting I was down 2.3lbs!!! Wow what an accomplishment!!!
Why didn't I continue the journey?
Why did I have to blow it and start eating those yummy girl guide chocolate mint cookies... yummmmmm
It stops today. I get back on track and perhaps can salvage this week.
because the things I have done well are:
- Saturday - ate pretty well all morning, and day and had a mango chicken salad for dinner... (but we also went to the Movies and I split a popcorn with Ben, even though I was full)
- Sunday - was a horrible blur, I had an allergy attack from hell... that lasted all day and I watched Netflix pretty much all day (Misfits season 1 & 2)
- I ate pretty well, I went to the gym on Monday - 60 minutes with Tracey (PT) and 30 minutes of Cardio!!!
- I ate pretty well, I went to the gym on Tuesday - 30 minutes with Tracey (PT) and 30 minutes of Cardio!!!
Why even when I am listing the things I have done well, do I do the opposite? and start nitpicking on the negative things I do.
Why can I not be happy and proud of the things that I did do!!!
Yay Me!!!
oh well, enough with the introspective stuff... It really doesn't get me very far
Today I am going to correct my behaviour and follow plan!!!
I can do this.
now where is my water :)
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